Banned From The Language?

⊆ 12:03:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 4 responses »

Banned Words List

Lake Superior State University's annual List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness, Rev. 34.

They have banned words and phrases such as maverick, <3 (yes, I'm serious), carbon footprint, green corporation, and get a life.

So I guess my question is this... Why do I give a flying fuck what you say about my language? Also, last time I heard, we don't use the Queen's English here in the good ol' US of A.

Seriously, I don't understand the purpose, need, or acceptance of this. Trying to dictate how I speak? Good fucking grief.

I understand the need to make sure people have good vocabulary, spelling skills, and general grammar skills... But trying to decrease the number of words available? Did you know they declared 'monkey' as not usable because of the internet trend of appending the word 'monkey' to the end of a word to make it more funny?

Oh, now I see, it's a way for you to let off steam. Hmm. Okay.

Here it is for all eyes to see.

Mike's List of Schools to Avoid For Being Pretentious Dickwads:
- Lake Superior State University

-M, out

 

4 Years

⊆ 12:30:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Four years.

Has it really been four years? It's unbelievable.

I speak of course of the time I lost someone very important to me. Oh, she's still around sort of, and still important, just in a very different way.

When things ended I thought there was no way I would be able to handle it. They were very dark, sad times. I think I flat out ignored her for almost half a year. Maybe longer. I was hurt, brash, and headstrong. What do you expect?

Now that I look back on it, I see she has moved on, and I have too (kind of) but you know what, and it'll sound very stupid....

But if she called me up today and said she would want to try again... I wouldn't hesitate for half a second. I don't know if I approve of this yet or not. But it's the truth. Not only would I not hesitate, but I would go visit her immediately, regardless of anything else going on in my life.

I've had other relationships since, but for some reason, they just ... I don't know. They don't feel the same. Not that they should feel exactly the same since everyone is different, but I mean I guess I want them to be comparable. That's really not fair to the people in my life though.

That's really kinda pathetic isn't it?

And I think the worst part is, like the song...

"The memory now is like the picture was then
When the papers crumpled up
It can't be perfect again"

So it's a two-fold whammy... I can't remember all the fun times anymore, and I'm still holding people to this impossible ideal.

Heh. Increasingly I'm finding myself to be a horrible person.

And truly. I am tired of it.

In closing:

I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave
Let me be.

-M, punching out

 

Christmas Shopping

⊆ 5:53:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

It is December 12th.

I think I have 1 (maybe 2) more Christmas presents to buy and then I have done all my Christmas shopping.

I love Christmas. I really do. Especially if it's snowing. It should be a law, or something, that it always snows on Christmas. I would climb the hill in the back of my parents house, sit at the top, and just watch. I love watching snow. I love the coordinated randomness of it. Does that make any sense? haha. More importantly, I love the things that snow brings. Homemade soup, fresh cookies, the fireplace. All sorts of corny stuff like that. Stupid ol' sentimental Mike, all I can think about when I think of fireplaces is the time my now-ex-girlfriend came to my parents house and we sat in front of the roaring fire. I miss those times, but at the same time, whatever happens, happens.

In other news, Dan got me a Dell GX280 because he's the fucking man. It's an amazing system - and I can't wait until I can afford the $25 PCI-Express Riser Card ( http://accessories.us.dell.com/sna/productdetail.aspx?c=us&cs=19&l=en&s=dhs&sku=310-6623&~tab=SpecsTab ) and corresponding PCI-Express x16 video card to make the system complete. It has an Intel GMA900 on-board video which is proving surprisingly sufficient and may even handle most tasks I throw at it. It's currently setup in a tri-boot configuration: XP, Vista, and Ubuntu 8.10 (full Compiz effects are amazing).

Also, I finally got around to trying Mana Potion ( http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/drinks/a273/ ) and let me say that it knocks my socks off. Each drink is a mere 1.7 ounces but yet provides FOUR cups of coffee worth of energy. I have replaced my daily coffee with it. If they weren't $20.00 / 6 units I would SO buy more of them. It provides an AWESOME wakeup jolt. It is NOT a jittery kind of awake that I usually get from energy drinks, but instead I am provided with a sudden, intense burst of focus. It's really quite astounding and I really recommend you try them.

I'm getting ready to go back to college. I'm pursuing a second under-graduate degree, in Information Technology and Informatics. It's kind of annoying because I thought I was done with college. I guess not. The worst part is it kind of holds me back from what I wanted to do, but the job market is not pleasant right now so if I can defer my entrance to the real world scene for a year or two, so be it.

The last note for tonight before I run off to my work outing is actually about work.

Work is going fairly well, and I think I finally have an argument which will abolish End of Shift Reports from the face of the planet once and for all. If he discounts this entire argument then I know for sure there is no chance to change his mind and will subsequently give up. The labs are facing further budget cuts and it's not looking pretty. I honestly think we should just close a random week during the semester so people realize how important the labs are. That'd show 'em. On the same note, I am getting very annoyed with consultants. In case any of you read this, READ YOUR GODDAMN WORK EMAIL. We send all sorts of notices, and if you come to the Supervisor office and ask me a question that is directly answered in an email I sent 2 days ago you WILL get ripped to shreds by my furious rage.

I think that's about it for tonight.

Thanks for stopping by.

Quote of the day: "The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance." -Laurence Peter

 

Automtoive Bailout

⊆ 7:05:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Question.

...

The stock market failures, economic failures, and banking failures request $700 billion dollars. They get it with no oversight or question (from Congress at least, the people get pretty PO'd).

The automotive manufacturers ask for $25 billion dollars either separate from the $700 billion dollar package or as a part of that $700 billion that is being handed out. But they're being rejected? ... Wth.

...

...

 

Boreddddd at work...

⊆ 8:30:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

MUSIC​
1. Name five of your favor​ite bands​:​​
-Linkin Park
-Santana
-Incubus
-Alice in Chains
-Saliva

2. Name five of your favor​ite singe​rs:​​
-Chris Cornell
-Cristina Scabbia
-Ray Charles
-Mike Shinoda
-Amy Lee

3. Name three​ songs​ you are curre​ntly playi​ng nonst​op:​​
-Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid
-The Outlaws - Green Grass and High Tides
-The Killers - When You Were Young

4. Name one song (​​give lyric​s)​​ that best descr​ibes your life right​ now:

-Evanescence - Lose Control

You don't remember my name
I don't really care
can we play the game your way?
can I really lose control?

just once in my life
I think it'd be nice
just to lose control- just once
with all the pretty flowers in the dust

Mary had a lamb
his eyes black as coals
if we play very quiet, my lamb
Mary never has to know

just once in my life
I think it'd be nice
just to lose control- just once

if I cut you down to a thing I can use
I fear there will be nothing good left of you


5. Name one song (​​give lyric​s)​​ that best descr​ibes your life one year ago:
-Alice in Chains - Down In A Hole

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom

Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You dont understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who wont let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and theyve put all
The stones in their place
Ive eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied


6. When you'​​re drivi​ng,​​ what are the prese​t stati​ons on your radio​:​​
-Sirius Lithium Rock
-NJ 101.5 (lewl.)
-Sirius Hair Metal

7. What'​​s the last CD you bough​t:​​
-Oh gods... um... Evanescence's first album I think...

8. Was the last CD you burne​d an actua​l CD or a mix:
-A mix. The Best of Garbage

9. Name one song/​​band/​​singe​r you'​​re embar​rasse​d to like but do:
-I dunno.. it's not really embarrassing to like Avril Lavigne right?

10. If you could​ only atten​d one conce​rt ever again​,​​ it would​ be:
-Chris Cornell or Disturbed.

11. Name one band/​​singe​r you absol​utely​ can'​​t stand​:​​
-Conway Twitty. Especially cuz of the stupid family guy cuts. -_-

12. Name a group​ you use to like but feel you'​​ve grown​ out of:
-Metallica

MOVIE​S & TV
1. Name your favor​ite actor​:​​
-Tcheky Karyo: "You must forget your artificial intelligence or we're all dead!" haha.

2. Name your favor​ite actre​ss:​​
-I dunno. Uma Thurman?

3. Name your favor​ite telev​ision​ show right​ now:
-Dirty Jobs
-Myth Busters

4 Name your favor​ite movie​:​​
- Interview with the Vampire
- Wing Commander (guilty pleasure, it's a shitty sci-fi haha)
- Star Trek! >_>

5. Name five reall​y cool movie​s you'​​ve recen​tly seen:​​
- Dark Knight
- Indiana Jones (I loved it, but hated it)
- Quantum of Solace
- I Am Legend
- Pursuit of Happiness

6. Your favor​ite cance​led telev​ision​ show:​​
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
- That 70's Show
- FUTURAMA

7. Name one movie​ you wish you hadn'​​t waste​d time/​​money​ on recen​tly:​​
- Indiana Jones. I loved it but hated it.

8. You would​ never​ watch​ a movie​ with:​​
- Paris Hilton. Bitch.

9. Favor​ite candy​/​​food to watch​ movie​s with:​​
-Popcorn with butter and salt
-Large Soda

10. Three​ favor​ite tv chann​els:​​
-SpikeTV
-Cartoon Network
-Discovery

11. Favor​ite reali​ty show:​​
- I don't watch reality TV

12. Favor​ite chara​cter on a reali​ty show:​​
- I don't watch reality TV

 

Happy Thanksgiving! :D

⊆ 5:49:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

My favoritest holiday. I won't say it's non-commercial, but it's the least commercialized holiday - and I love it.

I love the food, I love the friends, I love the family, and I love watching football.

For me, beyond cleaning the house for my mum there is not much to do. I offer to clean the dishes but always get beat to the punch haha.

So happy Thanksgiving to all of you who read this, and especially to all my friends. I wish more of you were around to share this day with me. :)

I love making plays on the Lord's Prayer.

Our turkey, thou art in ovens
Hallowed be thy stuffing
Thy gravy come
You will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our spills
As we forgive those who drop the food
And lead us not to fake turkeys
But deliver us from tryptophan
For thine is the cranberry,
And the pumpkin pie, and the eggnog
For ever and ever
Amen

<3.

 

Folding @ Home

⊆ 12:37:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

For all those who are interested in donating spare CPU cycles to a good cause, I recommend you try out Folding @ Home (http://folding.stanford.edu/English/Main).

I used to do this pretty heavily (think on the order 10,15 machines) but I stopped a while ago. I'm starting back up now!

If you're interested, I invite you to join team 154187 when you install the client.

On my dinky laptop it takes about 100 hours (a little more than 4 days) of computing time to figure out how the proteins will 'fold'. Long story short this program does calculations on your computer to help try and find new cures for cancer by understanding how proteins react (how and why).

I encourage all to check it out. It's for a good cause, I promise. :)

 

Election

⊆ 10:35:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

So, I kind of promised myself I wouldn't post politics beyond the initial "this is my candidate and reasons why" stuff, but I'm tired but not sleepy so I'm going to write out the ideas I have in my head now because if I don't I'll never get to sleep.

Let me preface this by saying Thank Sweet Merciful Gods that the election is finally over. The amount of crap that gets dredged from the bottoms of society is absolutely sickening.

I will also preface this by saying I did not vote for Obama. I also did not want Obama to win, for reasons which I have talked about in the past.

I will make an addendum to that statement by saying that I feel sorry for him.

As I do every election year, I wrote down a list of the 'issues' and 'promises' that each candidate made, as I heard them.

And now that the election is over I get to watch as he attempts (or does not attempt) to pass legislation.

And the reason why I feel bad for Obama is this.

He will not accomplish the change he campaigned for.

At least not directly.

He will get the chains moving.

He will get the ball rolling, to be sure.

But the last decade or so has left America battered, bruised, and broken.

And it will take more time than he has, I fear.

It will take some unpopular motions and such to effect things.

And I doubt he will get re-elected in 4 years.

And that's why I feel sorry for him.

No one ever remembers the person who starts making change.

People remember those around when change happens.

So President Obama, good luck to you. Best of luck.

You will need it.

 

Passion

⊆ 6:03:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Death is inevitable.
Our fear of it makes us play safe.
Blocks out emotion.
It's a losing game.
Without passion you are already dead.

 

The Past

⊆ 2:30:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

The past is a puzzle.
Like a broken mirror.
As you piece it together;
You cut yourself;
Your image keeps shifting.
And you change with it.
It could destroy you.
It could drive you mad.
It could set you free.

 

More Late Night Ish

⊆ 1:50:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 8 responses »

It's the weirdest things that keep me up at night, ya know?

Sometimes I don't even know what they are. Things have settled down after a bumpy week, I'm makin' money, I'm hangin' out with friends, I'm interviewin' all over the place.

And yet, I still can't fall asleep at night. It's really weird.

Someone told me it's cuz I'm stressed, but I don't know what I'd be stressed about at this particular point in time.

As a complete aside, I'm starting to think I see the world in very different ways than most people. I talked about this a while ago, and for those who missed it, i'll reiterate it here for ya.

There is an innate... beauty in science and knowledge.
And if you look around, look anywhere, even at the stupid dust bunnies on your floor, you could see the beauty in it. If you knew where and how to look.

Maybe you haven't realized it, but our existence as a whole is ... for lack of a better way of saying it, largely a fluke, really.
Out of all the planets in this solar system, in this galaxy, and for all we know, this universe, this one was formed perfectly conducive to life.
It is:
-the perfect distance from the sun, making it warm but not deathly hot.
-the perfect composition of metals. Without the molten iron core of the earth, the magnetic fields which help contain our ozone would not exist.
-the perfect composition of gases. I suppose you could make the argument that whatever life formed on this planet evolved to use this mixture of gases the way it does, but I mean... There's just too much evidence saying that Oxygen, Nitrogen, etc are essential to life to just discount it.
- shielded from meteors, asteroids, and other space debris by a planetoid (we call it the moon).

When you factor in the probabilities, you see that the chances for our existence are basically... Nil.

All these cards fell into place, and here we are.

And what do we do to show for it?

We kill each other.
We destroy the planet.
We bicker over pointless squabbles.
We try to adapt the world to fit our desires, instead of adapting our desires to fit our world.

Some say it's human nature. Well if that's the case, then humanity is doomed to failure, and I daresay deserves to fail. Any entity that does not adapt itself to work around issues like that cannot be long for this world.

I am... If anything... A scientist. An explorer. My search is for knowledge. The micro, the macro, the all.

And I wish people could see things the way I do. Or if they do see it the way I do, then tell me that they do.

Not because I feel superior for seeing things this way.
Not because I want to brag about it.
But because I wish you could see it like I do.
A never ending puzzle.
Infinite in breadth.
Unimaginable in scope.
Deceptively complex.
Breathtakingly simple.

--- Break! New Topic ---

There are a great many people that I talk to on any given day but yet I don't get to see. Since I don't get to see them every day (or nearly as often as I'd like to) I'm just gonna take a minute to say thanks for stickin' around and makin' things easier to deal with.

In no particular order:
My parents of course
My kid brother
Brian
Danny-kid
D
Shell
Flipsta!
Jon
Justine
Hannah
Cortney
Marcies
Matt
Nate
Renz
Tacoooooooo
Will
Alissa
Sumantha
Andrew
Chris
Era
Gwen (I misses teh Gwen and I wish she was around more often to even talk to. I haven't heard from you in almost 2 years!)
Jeff
Joe
Josh
Tashies
Nicole
Adam
Susan
Tim
Rough Tough Clough
Maria

I know there's more, so if I forgot you, I'm sorry. It's been a long day.

--- Break! New Topic ---

People in New Brunswick are really annoying sometimes.

It's 2:30 in the morning and the bars just let out. This is the worst time to be awake. Drunk idiots all over the place! And they won't shaddup. I can hear people down the street cuz they insist on yelling. Bastids.

---

That's all for now, I've run outta things to write. Back to watchin' Jurassic Park.

 

The Last Post From MavericksEdge

⊆ 8:50:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

MavericksEdge is my desktop machine.

MavericksEdge has been sold.

In 5 minutes the machine drives will be completely wiped and everything will be ... gone.

Au Revior.

-MavericksEdge, offline.

 

Late Night Confessions

⊆ 3:00:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 9 responses »

I love chocolate chip cookies.

I hate when people drive at night with their high-beams on.

I'm infatuated with someone but don't know how to go about approaching them about it.

I'm terrified of the future.

I'm sick of the way the world operates.

I think I'm depressed.

I know I'm frustrated with job searching.

I'm worried that I'm not good enough.

I spend my nights wondering where some of my oldest friends are.

I cuss like a sailor because I like to.

I drink myself into a stupor each night because it makes it easier to look myself in the mirror at night.

I don't care what you think about me. I really don't. It's not because I don't value your opinion, it's just I live by my own values.

I'm not the life of the party.

I'm not the center of attention.

I can't sleep at night and I don't know why.

It feels like I'm not good enough.

Sometimes I think I'm an utter failure as a student, a person, and a tech.

I like video games.

I like football.

I love Mojitos.

I dream of a day when I can go to work not for money but for the joy of doing the job.

I love working with my hands.

I hate being shut in all day.

I am.

That's all.

 

Personality

⊆ 8:17:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Your result for The Chess Mess Test...

The Rook's Hawk

Congrats! Only 12-16% of the population score this!


The Rook’s Hawk is like a judge. They have a great sense of right and wrong especially in their area of interest or responsibility. They are devoted to duty. They are punctual. People who set their clocks on others are typically measuring their time with the Hawk. It is common to perceive that the Hawk is cold or aloof. They frequently protect their emotions via practicality.



They work systematically to get the job done. When a new procedure is proven, they can be depended upon to carry it out. The Rook’s Hawk is deeply frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when it comes to commitments. They will keep their feelings to themselves – but when asked expect truth over tact. They are quite able to make the tough call and carry it out. You will find the Rook’s Hawk at home in government, schools, military or any other organization which maintains strict hierarchy. They are the traditionalist and are perfect for balancing out the idealists of other types.



The Rook’s Hawk thrives on organization. They keep their lives and environments well-regulated. They bring painstaking attention to detail in their work and will not rest until satisfied with a job well done. They are obviously hard workers. They will sort through ideas and find the most practical ones, again revealing how common sense prevails in this type. This ‘Pawn’ is the cornerstone of an ethical working society. They are centered on dealing with the present and most practical affair. They observe life and promote consistency in society. They value loyalty and others are best to acquaint themselves with this type if they wish to gain a fruitful insight to what makes the world tick.



Check out my other tests!


Changeling Type | Mage Sorter

Take The Chess Mess Test at HelloQuizzy

 

Apartment Listing

⊆ 5:31:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

If you (or anyone you know) wants a place in New Brunswick on the cheap:
Linky

Help me out, I need to move out.

 

The US Government Makes Me Sick.

⊆ 11:51:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 3 responses »

Here's yet another reason why.

The government is further getting involved in the policing of it's people - not for breaking laws - but instead for insuring that a dying industry can continue to use a failing business model instead of trying to keep up with the times.

In short, with the passing of the PRO-IP Act the government has:
1) Increased penalties for copyright infringement ( and before you say all copyright infringement is bad, keep in mind that the following things are considered copyright infringement: ripping your CD collection to mp3 to put it on your digital music player, ripping a DVD to AVI so you can watch it on your device of choice, posting your favorite song lyrics was debated [the courts ruled that the producers own the lyrics, how fucked up is that?]... ) have been increased by a not-insignificant amount.

2) Added civil forfeiture provisions which allows them to rule that you are no longer the owner of said things - they are thus taken away completely. Not just the songs, but possibly the equipment used to infringe.

3) Creation of an IP Czar to watch and integrate these things into all aspects of government and possibly try and force ISPs to monitor your online activities to ensure you aren't violating these tenants.

The problem is that the RIAA/MPAA/Bill Sponsors seem to think that the government should be involved in making sure that these people can make money. The government already provides provisions for enabling these people to make money and bring people to court when they feel that they have been shafted. So why, oh why, is the government deciding that now the government will have to do the footwork for these people? It doesn't make any sense.

You know what, the whole government doesn't make sense at all anymore.

Sure, we can afford a $700 billion dollar bailout of companies that have poor business plans.
But we can't afford to make health care more affordable in the count.
But we can't afford to make sure that everyone gets three square meals a day.
But we can't afford to make higher education more accessible to everyone.
But we can't afford to make school in general better.
But we can't afford to make things easier for the average 9-5 worker.

Nooooooooo, but when someone with deep pockets is in trouble, Government to the rescue.

I'm sick to my goddamn stomach.

And every single Senator in Washington should be sick to their stomachs as well. Because this act passed unanimously. Not a single person has a lick of common sense.

Once again readers, I leave you with my favorite sentiment.

There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of Liberty and Freedom.
Soap
Jury
Ballot
Ammo

Use them in that order.

 

Recinarnation Placement Exam

⊆ 8:26:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

I don't do a lot of these, and even fewer get posted, but hey when you get a result like this, you share. :P

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Starfleet Crewperson

58% Intrigue, 54% Civilization, 66% Humanity, 55% Urbanization.


As Mister Spock would say: Fascinating. It seems you've managed to hit the edge of the curve on all metrics. An extraordinary life is almost certain.



According to your answers, you want it all, you want a lot of it, and you're willing to do what it takes to get it! Adventure! Romance! Technology! Challenge! You love civilization. You like people. You love the complications and joys of a big, weird crowd of humans plus lots of other beings wandering into dangerous and complicated corners of the galaxy.



There is an ideal place for you, and you are ideal for it: Welcome to the crew of the starship Enterprise. Captain Kirk would have welcomed you aboard himself, but his head was too big to fit in the landing bay.

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

 

I've said it before

⊆ 1:29:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

And I'll say it again.

This goes out to recruiters, hiring managers, and basically anyone in charge of making hiring decisions.

I am hired because I know what I am doing, not because I will do whatever I am told is a good idea. This might cost me bonuses, raises, promotions, and may even label me as "undesirable" by places I don't want to work at anyway, but I don't care.

I will not compromise my own principles and judgment without putting up a fight. Of course, I won't always win, and I will sometimes be forced to do things I don't agree with, but if I am my objections will be known, and if I am shown to be right and problems later develop, I will shout "I told you so!" repeatedly, laugh hysterically, and do a small dance or jig as appropriate to my heritage.

This goes double for things that I do on MY time.

What I do on MY time is irrelevant to you (in as much that I should not be coming into work trashed, stoned, or otherwise miserable from the previous night).

The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. We live in trapped loops... Reliving a few days over and over. And we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day is nothing more than a slight variation on the last. Ever moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. And no, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing: The solution DOESN'T involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of some day easing my fit into a mold. It doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up... This is VERY important so I want to say it as clearly as I can: FUCK THAT SHIT.

So can you explain to me WHY I should change MY life to fit into YOUR expectations at a job?

Seriously.

I wake up, I take my shower, I get dressed, I go to work, I work hard until my shift is over, I get home, and what, you expect me to sit around and do nothing until I go to sleep and do it over again? Fuck. That.

And I say again.

If this costs me a position at your company... Oh well, I probably wouldn't have fit in there anyways.

 

Halloween This Year

⊆ 8:58:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

I seriously wonder if there's time to develop an Ironman outfit...

 

Song Of The Moment

⊆ 12:14:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

i.e. What I'm listening to right now has inspired me enough to make a post about it.

Artist: Chris Cornell
Album: Euphoria Morning
Track: 03
Title: Preaching The End of the World

Video:


--Lyrics Begin--
Hello, I know there's someone out there
Who can understand
And who's feeling the same way as me
I'm twenty-four and I've got everything to live for
But I know now that it wasn't meant to be
Cause all has been lost and all has been won
And there's nothing left for us to save
But now I know that I don't want to be alone today
So if you find that you've been feeling just the same

Call me now it's alright
It's just the end of the world
You need a friend in the world
Cause you can't hide
So call and I'll get right back
If your intentions are pure
I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

I've got a photograph, I'll send it off today
And you will see that I am perfectly sane
Not for a lifetime or forever and a day
Cause we know now that just won't be the case

Call me now it's alright
It's just the end of the world
You need a friend in the world
Cause you can't hide
So call and I'll get right back
If your intentions are pure
I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

There will be no commitment and no confessions
And no little secrets to keep
No little children or houses with roses
Just the end of the world and me
Cause all has been gone and all has been done
And there's nothing left for us to say
But we could be together as they blow it all away
And we can share in every moment as it breaks

Call me now it's alright
It's just the end of the world
You need a friend in the world
Cause you can't hide
So call and I'll get right back
If your intentions are pure
I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

So call me now it's alright
It's just the end of the world
You need a friend in the world
Cause you can't hide
So call and I'll get right back
If your intentions are pure
I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

 

Interview On Tuesday

⊆ 3:15:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 4 responses »

woohoo. :D

 

This week sucks.

⊆ 4:40:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Well...

Let's start from the top.

My car had a broken tail light and dented rear panels and bumper.

My computer has died: video cards are shot, power supply is not working. :|

I still don't have a full time job, and all the ones I'm hearing about are in places I'm not able nor ready to commute to (Manhattan, Conneticut, etc).

Since my computer died I lost access to the page that I was working on - if I don't get my computer back soon the project dies here. :\

So, why doesn't someone just come and shoot me already? Just put me outta my goddamn misery already.

Blargh.

 

I Am A Warrior

⊆ 10:47:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 2 responses »

I am the Warrior.

When you see me, I will, most likely, not be attired formally. I will be encased in my steel. It will be dirty, bloody, and battered. I do not have a quick tongue or eloquent speech. I know nothing of the manners of the King's court, or the ettiquette of the formal ball.

I am known by many names. Tank. Meatshield. Fighter. Brawler. Corpse.

I am the Warrior.

I have not the capability, nor the inclination, to hide. I cannot strike from stealth with devastating blows, then fade into the darkness. I cannot incinerate a foe from twenty paces away. I cannot deal death from a distance, safe from the return attacks of my enemy. In order to kill, I must close with the enemy. I see his eyes. I smell his breath. I taste his fear. And he tastes mine.

I cannot bend Nature to do my bidding. I cannot tap into the Nether and force it to do what I command. I cannot study the arcane and master it to my control. I command nought but my mind, my body, and my will. It is by those, and those alone, that I stand or fall.

I have no friends on my journey. No walkers of the void, summoned from the Nether as servants and bodyguards. No loyal beasts of the plains or woods, to defend me and comfort me in my pain. My sole companion is my weapon. I must care for it better than any hunter has ever cared for his beast. I must master it more than any warlock has ever mastered his demon. Without me, it is useless. Without it, I am nothing.

I cannot heal. I cannot shield. I cannot call upon the gods and see my prayers answered. I call to the spirits of my ancestors in the heat of battle, and they are silent. My only ability to protect is to offer myself, my blood and bone and sinew, as a sacrifice. To draw the attacks of our foes. To take the blows that would kill a lesser being, and continue to fight on.

I cannot kill with the speed and grace of the rogue, the suddenness and shock of the hunter, or the flamboyance and power of the mage. When I kill, it is a slow business. Slow and bloody for all concerned, myself included. I fight on, pummeled and battered so that my companions may receive the glory of the kill and the wreaths of victory. If I die and they yet live, it is an expected sacrifice.

I come in all races, all sizes. I fight under a thousand flags, on a million battlefields. I am dismissed by the highborn, scorned by the noble, lectured by the priest, and forgotten by the peasant. Until the time when the trumpets of battle sound, and those who would destroy them come forth. And then the cry goes up..."Where, oh where, is the Warrior?"

Pray to your gods that I continue to answer that call.

Few do answer the call. Fewer still survive. It is a long and hard road, this way of the Warrior. Along it lie pain, and fear, and death. Scant rewards and scanter gratitude. At the end, for most, is an anonymous grave on some windblown battlefield. If they are lucky.

And yet, I fight on. I do not even know why. Perhaps for glory, perhaps for fame, perhaps for money, perhaps for my country, perhaps for my family. Perhaps it is simply all I know how to do. But fight I will. Whether you appreciate it or not. Whether you even notice it or not. I will be out there, on the battle lines. Fighting. Killing. Dying.

I am the Warrior.

Death is my business.

Be it yours...or mine.

---

Shake the heavens, brothers and sisters.
And know that we are warriors.
And we will kill all that stand in our way.

What's Your Game?

 

Barr/Root '08

⊆ 10:39:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »




Personal Liberty:
Individuals should be free to make choices for themselves and to accept responsibility for the consequences of the choices they make. No individual, group, or government may initiate force against any other individual, group, or government. Our support of an individual's right to make choices in life does not mean that we necessarily approve or disapprove of those choices.
---
I am free to do as I want as long as I do not impede your right to do as you want. You do not have the right to force upon me and I do not have the right to force upon you. Whether I approve or disapprove of you or your style, we just need to accept it. Make sense, dun it?

Expression and Communication
We support full freedom of expression and oppose government censorship, regulation or control of communications media and technology. We favor the freedom to engage in or abstain from any religious activities that do not violate the rights of others. We oppose government actions which either aid or attack any religion.
---
Freedom of expression. I think that's enough said. If it isn't, then please have yer head checked out. :)

Personal Privacy
We support the protections provided by the Fourth Amendment to be secure in our persons, homes, and property. Only actions that infringe on the rights of others can properly be termed crimes. We favor the repeal of all laws creating "crimes" without victims, such as the use of drugs for medicinal or recreational purposes.
---
The only 'victim' of the 'crime' of drug use is the person using the crime. If a person on drugs drives their car into a wall and hurts themselves (or others) then an entirely different crime has occured.

Personal Relationships
Sexual orientation, preference, gender, or gender identity should have no impact on the rights of individuals by government, such as in current marriage, child custody, adoption, immigration or military service laws. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships. Government does not have the authority to define, license or restrict personal relationships.
---
This makes me smile. We are all people, created equally. Just because you do something different than me doesn't mean you're wrong. It doesn't mean you're right either. It just means you are you.

Abortion
Recognizing that abortion is a sensitive issue and that people can hold good-faith views on all sides, we believe that government should be kept out of the matter, leaving the question to each person for their conscientious consideration.
---
This is beautiful in it's simplicity. So beautiful and so simple in fact that I'm sure the American populous won't like it. In short: It's your choice whether or not you do it, we don't care either way.

Crime and Justice
Government exists to protect the rights of every individual including life, liberty and property. Criminal laws should be limited to violation of the rights of others through force or fraud, or deliberate actions that place others involuntarily at significant risk of harm. Individuals retain the right to voluntarily assume risk of harm to themselves. We support restitution of the victim to the fullest degree possible at the expense of the criminal or the negligent wrongdoer. We oppose reduction of constitutional safeguards of the rights of the criminally accused. The rights of due process, a speedy trial, legal counsel, trial by jury, and the legal presumption of innocence until proven guilty, must not be denied. We assert the common-law right of juries to judge not only the facts but also the justice of the law.
---
Enough said on that subject.

Self-Defense
The only legitimate use of force is in defense of individual rights — life, liberty, and justly acquired property — against aggression. This right inheres in the individual, who may agree to be aided by any other individual or group. We affirm the right to keep and bear arms, and oppose the prosecution of individuals for exercising their rights of self-defense. We oppose all laws at any level of government requiring registration of, or restricting, the ownership, manufacture, or transfer or sale of firearms or ammunition.
---
The right to bear arms is a fundamental tenet of American society. It is necessary, but if you don't want one it doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to get one.

Monopolies and Corporations
We defend the right of individuals to form corporations, cooperatives and other types of companies based on voluntary association. We seek to divest government of all functions that can be provided by non-governmental organizations or private individuals. We oppose government subsidies to business, labor, or any other special interest. Industries should be governed by free markets.
---
No corporation will be above the law, and no corporation shall call on the government to do things which it should be able to do by itself.

National Defense
We support the maintenance of a sufficient military to defend the United States against aggression. The United States should both abandon its attempts to act as policeman for the world and avoid entangling alliances. We oppose any form of compulsory national service.
---
If the world wants to blow itself up, then fine. Mess with us and we'll mess you up. We don't care what you do otherwise.

Internal Security and Individual Rights
The defense of the country requires that we have adequate intelligence to detect and to counter threats to domestic security. This requirement must not take priority over maintaining the civil liberties of our citizens. The Bill of Rights provides no exceptions for a time of war. Intelligence agencies that legitimately seek to preserve the security of the nation must be subject to oversight and transparency. We oppose the government's use of secret classifications to keep from the public information that it should have, especially that which shows that the government has violated the law.
---
The defense of liberty must not come at the cost of our privacy.



The Libertarian Party is the wave of the future.

 

McCormick's Yearly Speech

⊆ 1:46:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Members of the Rutgers Community:

On Tuesday, news of a record-breaking year for private giving to Rutgers will be released to the media. Before this information reaches the general public, I would like to share some highlights with you.

During the 2007–2008 fiscal year, Rutgers received more than $121 million in new gifts and pledges—the university’s highest annual total to date. This represents an increase of nearly 9 percent over the previous year, in which $111.5 million was raised.

The vast majority of this new giving total is committed to students, faculty, and academic programs. More than $34 million has been designated for student support, including scholarships; $32 million for faculty development; and more than $36 million for program support.

This upward trend in private giving owes much to the university’s rising national profile and the deep commitment of donors to Rutgers’ educational missions. Every gain made by one department helps build the reputation of the entire university. I congratulate each of you, and thank you, for your contributions to this unprecedented support.

Richard L. McCormick
President
Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey

---

Let's rip this apart, shall we.

"During the 2007–2008 fiscal year, Rutgers received more than $121 million in new gifts and pledges—the university’s highest annual total to date. This represents an increase of nearly 9 percent over the previous year, in which $111.5 million was raised."

State funding was cut by 12% this year and you can bet that the $121 million [9% increase] is nothing compared to the 12% [I do not have exact budget figures] that was cut.

"The vast majority of this new giving total is committed to students, faculty, and academic programs. More than $34 million has been designated for student support, including scholarships; $32 million for faculty development; and more than $36 million for program support."

$102 million stadium expansion. More than all of that combined. Go figure.

"This upward trend in private giving owes much to the university’s rising national profile and the deep commitment of donors to Rutgers’ educational missions."

A deep commitment to educational missions. That's why we continue to cut registration, essential jobs (teachers, maintenance staff), and services.

Did you know that the Livingston post office will be permanently unstaffed from now on. If you have a package shipped to you, you'll have to go to Busch to pick it up. How convenient!

Did you know that Schiano still gets $2 million a year plus $250,000 in side deals and endorsements, plus a house local to the team, plus a helicopter for scouting purposes.

Did you know that expensive greening projects are occurring on college ave while campuses like Busch, Cook/Douglass, and Livingston are getting torn up walkways which will be replaced with pavement and less lighting.

Did you know that the University is in the biggest budget shortfall in years, and yet we continue to increase spending for non-essentials while cutting spending for essentials.

...What.
.....The.
........Fuck.

 

late night ramblings

⊆ 12:32:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

I am still single.

I have no prospects at the moment.

I am tired of it!

But I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

After her, there hasn't been ANYONE.

It's kinda sad. It's been what, almost 4 years now. Gods damned.

And further, due to this, I am increasingly sickened by myself.

I should be happy for the people around me who are in relationships.

But I'm not.

And I'm horrible because I think "Well if they weren't in a relationship maybe I'd have a shot."

What the fuck.

Worst mentality ever.

And whats worse about it, the mood that these thoughts puts me in results in me losing my temper and flipping out on people I care about.

I am a horrible person.

Absolutely horrible, without question.

And then it came to me.

That's why.

That's why I can't find anyone anymore. When I was in highschool and early college years, I didn't WANT relationships. They sort of just... Happened.

Now I want relationships. I do silly things to try and get them.

And trying to force the issue pushes people away.

But really. All I want is someone to talk to. Someone who's genuinely interested in me, my day, etc; and someone I can be interested in and want to talk to too!

Is that so much to ask?

...Is it?

It is? Damn...

Well. I dunno then.

But if I talk to you and my conversation ever seems too... pointed. Be sure to just kindly *smack* me, and tell me to chill out.

Cuz I'm really tired of being a horrible person.

I just want some friendship, and not a day goes by when I don't think about and count my lucky stars for you.

-M, punching out.

 

The TSA IS Helpful *gasp*

⊆ 8:54:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

I know, I know, inconceivable right?

Here's the story.

August 9th, 7:00am:
- My dad leaves his Blackberry Pearl at the TSA Checkpoint (I guess he forgot it? o_O? Maybe he was in a rush.)

August 9th, 12:00pm:
- TSA Official (whose name I did not get x_x) calls numbers on the phone trying to identify who the phone belongs to. He calls my cell phone first (being the last number dialed). He informs me that they have my dad's phone and that they will take it to the Lost and Found office that evening and that I should call them Monday morning. Sweet!

August 9th, 8:00pm:
- Dad calls on his other phone (go figure :P) and says he lost his phone. Mike to the rescue! "No you didn't Dad, it's at the TSA Office in Newark and I'm arranging for it to be returned." ... "Great! That's great! Good job Mike!" wewt.

August 10th, 11:00am:
- I call the first TSA Office number that I was provided. No answer. :( I leave a message according to the instructions and await a call back.

August 11th, 11:00am:
- I call the second TSA OFfice number that I was provided. No answer. :( :( I leave a 2nd message according to the instructions and await a call back.

August 12th, 11:00am:
- I call the first TSA Office number that I was provided. No answer. :( I leave a message according to the instructions and await a call back.
- I call the second TSA OFfice number that I was provided. No answer. :( :( I leave a 2nd message according to the instructions and await a call back.

August 15th, 2:00pm:
- TSA Office calls me, apologizes for the delay, and asks for further information about the phone (all of which I provided but hey verification is good!). I provide all the information but they say they don't have it there. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. They tell me that the original agent may not have logged it in yet. She says she'll call me back.

August 15th, 2:30p:
- TSA Office calls me, says they've found it! Woot! We begin making arrangements. I have it shipped via DHL next day (I figure it says if it's shipped before 4:00pm it'll be in on Saturday).

August 15th:
- No phone arrives. :(

August 18th:
- Phone arrives! :D

Mike is win.

-M

 

Comcast Support is horrible.

⊆ 1:19:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Is... ugh.

I am so completely infuriated right now.

I called up Comcast around 12:50 to try and get a tech to come out to our house to look at our network status. Well, it took a total of 4 phone transfers just to get to someone who could help me.

I got a hold of a tech early on, and he seemed pretty able to help me, if a bit confused because the Comcast system was reporting that we had a different modem than we actually had. I think the tech wanted to transfer me to someone who could update our billing records for that purpose.

I ended up being trasnfered to a Wireless Network Support Representative, who realized that he couldn't help once he noticed that I was talking about a regular old modem.

He then transfered me to someone else, this time to someone who is a North-East Corridor Dispatcher/CSR. Apparently he only had access to accounts in Maryland, so I got transfered again.

Finally I'm speaking to someone who can actually help me, and within 5 minutes we have a scheduled appointment for a Technician to come out and examine what's going on. I wonder if they can figure out why our channels are fuzzy too, two birds with one stone >_>. hmm.

For those who don't know, cable modem upstream power should be in a 35 to 52 dBmV range. Ours is in the 17 to 24 dBmV range, so... We have no connection for long strings of time, 2 to 3 times a day. It's quite annoying.

Let's not talk about the fact that I had to drive 30 minutes to a Comcast Office to drop off a damnded modem (why can't we mail them in???????).

Really, I'm quite furious about the fact that it took almost 30 minutes to get a tech to come out. Why Comcast Support is so fragmented and seperated makes no sense. Any CSR should be able to pull up my account info, not just ones in my area.

Blargh. Why can't things just work? This is ridiculous.

[And btw, the CSRs all had the nerve to tell me that 17-24 dBmV is an acceptable range for modem upstream signal, even though the SNR is ridiculously low].

Advice? If your options are Comcast or *, go with *. Even if * is dialup or satelite.

-M, punching out

 

No Handlebars

⊆ 11:36:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Song: No Handlebars
Artst: The Flobots


Lyrics:
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

 

Mission Objectives Accomplished

⊆ 6:14:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

My 2nd round interview went pretty well...

The transfer student session went smoothly.

And as of 2.25 hours ago, I am officially on vacation until the 17th.

Furthermore...

Life is swell, because I know awesome people.

<3.

 

BlizzCon 2008

⊆ 10:48:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

I have always wanted to go to a gaming convention.

With the death of E3 nigh it seems only fitting that I go to the next best thing.

I speak of course of BlizzCon, a 2 day event in Anaheim, CA that I may just be able to afford to do...

The flight looks to be around 350$.
The ticket itself is 100$.
The hotel appears to be about 45$ a night.

Could it really be that simple...?

-M, contemplating

 

New Pictures

⊆ 1:49:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »


 

Writing Again

⊆ 1:37:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

So I decided to do more story-writing.

Right now, I'm trying to keep it to a short-story set in the fiction of the Wing Commander universe. I have the opening chapter written and an epic-esque story to tell with it, but I'm very cautious about being public about my writing.

I won't be posting it here.

But if you want a copy, drop me an email or a comment and I'll be sure you get a copy when I feel it's in a suitable form.

This shout goes out to everyone who helped me get through yesterday: Thanks so much, you guys are awesome.

 

My favoritest sayings

⊆ 12:13:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

This post (and any followup replies) are basically places for me to stow things that I come across or say that strike me as poetic, beautiful, or otherwise interesting.

Quote 1:
Chaos is not there to disrupt the norm for the sake of disruption. That is referred to as anarchy.

Chaos is there to give rhythmic variations, highs and lows, to a landscape that was previously flat and devoid of interest.

Chaos is meaning. Chaos is effect. It is the score upon which reality is written.
Attributed to: Me

Quote 2:
There are individuals out there who are so intent on violent disagreement with me that they will go to great lengths to engineer one.
Including the distortion of those close to me, and everything that I've come to believe about myself and about my life.
Complete disregard!
They just don't GET IT.
They're fighting against an inevitable future, but they just don't realize that I'm already there.
I AM the future.
I thought that I was finished with things like this.
I thought I was beyond them.
Do I really have to waste my time in conflict with these people?
This is the point. Change for change's sake.
But we HAVE to evolve.
All of us.
It's the only way forward.
And you really don't know me anymore, do you?
I told you. I'm different.
Attributed to: Iron Man - Inevitable [Modified by me]

Quote 3:
Existence offers us nothing if not the opportunity for an endless series of betrayals.

There's a world behind the world.

Lie once, cheat twice, and everything becomes clear.

Do not mistake my deception for a character flaw.

It is a philosophical choice.

A profound understanding of the universe.

It is ... a way of life.
Attibuted to: Lost In Space, Dr Smith.

That's all for now.

 

I Almost Killed Someone Today...

⊆ 8:26:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Well. Possibly. I mean... Ok it's better if I just explain it.

I was driving to the ballgame after work today, and I'm on Richardson I think, or whatever the road is. I'm about to cross College Avenue and then BAM... This bicyclist comes out of NOWHERE (in reality, from behind a van that was parked illegally on College ave - it was half sticking into the street).

This kid didn't even bother to look before bolting in the street. It's kind of hard to miss my Escape. It's not tiny, and is blazing white. So... I slam on the breaks, harder than I've ever slammed my brakes before - and the kid keeps pedaling until I'm about 3 inches away from hitting him. Luckily my car stopped as quickly as it did. My brakes are excellent. I didn't hit him, but he had the nerve to curse at me... He couldn't have been in the road before I was half through the intersection... I have right of way.

But all that matters is that I didn't hit him.

But I'm still fucking shook up. Even now, almost 3 hours later, my hands are still shaking, and I can't help but think ... what if I hadn't been paying attention?

What if I was a half second late with the brakes?

What if, any number of things.

I could have killed this kid (a college student). I could have permanently injured him.

I'm not going to get any sleep tonight...

Song of the Moment [ Alice in Chains - Them Bones ]

Lyrics:
I
I
I
I
I.... Believe.... Them bones... Are me...
Some... Say... We're born... Into the grave...
I feel so alone...
Gunna end up a big ol' pile a them bones
I
I
I......
Dust... Rises... Right on... Over my time...
Empty... Fossil of the new scene...
I feel so alone...
Gonna end up a big ol' pile a them bones
Yeah...
Toll... Due... Bad dream... Come true...
I... Lie... Dead gone... Under red sky...
I feel so alone... gonna end up a big ol pile a them...
I feel so alone... gonna end up a big ol pile a them...
I feel so alone... gonna end up a big ol pile a them bones...

 

Change

⊆ 11:10:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

There are individuals out there who are so intent on violent disagreement with me that they will go to great lengths to engineer one.

Including the distortion of those close to me, and everything that I've come to believe about myself and about my life.

Complete disregard!

They just don't GET IT.

They're fighting against an inevitable future, but they just don't realize that I'm already there.

I AM the future.

I thought that I was finished with things like this.

I thought I was beyond them.

Do I really have to waste my time in conflict with these people?

This is the point. Change for change's sake.

But we HAVE to evolve.

All of us.

It's the only way forward.

And you really don't know me anymore, do you?

I told you. I'm different.

 

PSE&G Sucks.

⊆ 11:42:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 4 responses »

OK.

So I wake up this morning and go through my routine. Shower, Shave, Orange Juice, Cereal, newspaper, Email.

I open my email and see my new PSE&G bill is here. Awesome.

I open it up and it's $631. I practically had a heart attack.

So I get to work and call them up and the representative politely notifies me that the account has had a deposit fee accessed on it. The conversation went as follows:

Me: "Why is my bill this high? Last month's was only like $200."
Rep: "We added a 260$ deposit charge to your account."
Me: "What? Why?"
Rep: "It's a charge based on your prior accounts or if your account is new then based on your first two months payments."
Me: "You still haven't explained to me why this is on my bill. I have been a customer with you for two years now!"
Rep: "You need to call billing / collections. *gives number*"
Me: "Fine. *click*"

I proceed to call up Billing and Collections. After waiting on hold for almost 30 minutes I get in touch with a representative, I think the name was Paul. [Aside: I really need to remember to get the names of the people who tell me things >_>]

That conversation goes as follows:
Rep: "Can I have your account number?"
Me: "I'm at work and don't have the account numbers with me."
Rep: "Address?"
Me: "*reads off address and name*"
Rep: "Ok... What can I help you with?"
Me: "I was looking at my bill this morning and saw that it was $631. I called up Customer Service and they said there was a $260 deposit charge on my account and I was told that I needed to contact you folks to figure out why it's there and what I can do about it."
Rep: "Ok, please give me a moment to check."
*3 minutes on hold passes*
Rep: "Ok Mr. Santangelo, I see a $260 deposit fee on your account for this period, but since you transfered your old account here you shouldn't have been charged that. I'll be adding a credit to your account right now. Please hold."
*5 minutes on hold passes*
Rep: "Ok, you're all set!"
Me: "Thanks. *click*"

So in short it seems like they were basically trying to bilk me out of an additional $260. My bill was still $371 which I'm gonna need to figure out (last months was ~$200). But at least I saved $260. Ugh what a nightmare.

Now I just need to wait and see if the credit is actually applied to my account. I'll call back Monday if it isn't.

What a morning...

 

Science is beauty.

⊆ 6:49:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Art is science made clear.
  - Jean Cocteau (French Scholar, Poet, etc), taken from Quote Of The Day

I'm sorry Mr. Cocteau, but I disagree.

Science is art.
And there is beauty in that science and knowledge.
There are nuances in scientific method that make it the most beautiful object in the world.
Even the simplest logical statements are considered beautiful and artful.

It is because of this that I am proud to say...
Of all things that I am, I am foremost a scientist.
An explorer.
My quest is for knowledge.
And the rewards are limitless.

For those that cannot see the clarity in science, I apologize.

Not because I feel superior for knowing this.
Not because I want to brag.
But because I wish that you could see the world as I see it.
A never ending puzzle.
Infinite in breadth.
Unimiganible in scope.



Or my favorite logical argument, Russell's Paradox.

Russell's Paradox goes as such: Let R = { x | p(x) } where p(x) is the condition for x to be contained in R. In this case chose p(x) to mean that x is not in R.

The question posed is simple: Does R contain itself as an element or not?

Well, suppose R is an element of R.
Then R does not satisfy p, and thus p(R) is false.
Therefore, R is not an element of R. Contradiction!

Well, suppose R is not an element of R.
Then R does satisfy p, and thus p(R) is true.
Therefore, R is an element of R. Contradiction!

PARADOX! Oh nose.

But the beautiful thing is: the rules of logic allow this to happen (well... naive logic).

I can't think of how else to explain it.

Just remember, there is beauty in all things.

 

Mission Objectives Unable to be Accomplished

⊆ 12:39:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

ugh. What a day.

I had an interview this morning. It went. That is to say, it didn't go great, but it didn't go so poorly that I wanted to shoot myself. I just don't do well on interviews, I can never seem to articulate myself clearly enough and I always leave wondering if I have made a good impression of my skills and personality.

After my interview, I went home to get changed out of my (apparently underdressed) interview clothes and put on my normal work clothes. I also made a sandwich for lunch (bologna, salami, and cheese). The total amount of time spent in my house was no more than 10 minutes, and probably closer to 5. I go outside to get into my car which I parked in the street since my driveway was full. Lo and behold, there was a ticket on my car set for about 1 minute after the time I left my car. $22 down the fucking toilet. Ugh.

I proceeded to go to work, where a traffic light at the intersection of Easton Ave and Hamilton St was much faster than usual. I was pulling up to the intersection as the light turned yellow - normally this is enough time for me to get through at the 25mph I go on Hamilton St. However this time just as I rolled past the line the light turned red. So here I am rolling through the middle of the two busiest streets in my area with the light turned red. Thank god there were no cops.

I successfully navigated my way to Dunkin Donuts, bought my coffee and bagel, and proceeded back to work.

I get to work and have the machine that we just got back from NICR reinstalled and reimaged. I then start work on my new project for the summer: mapping out designs for the PC-IML.

Today has not been fun, and I'd really like to just bury my head in a pillow and pretend it didn't happen.

Sigh.
-M, punching out.

 

Survey Time

⊆ 12:34:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Found this on a buddy's site.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Michael Santangelo
Birthday:January 24th, 1984
Birthplace:Brooklyn, NY
Current Location:New Brunswick, NJ
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Black/Brown
Height:6'1"
Right Handed or Left Handed:Left Handed
Your Heritage:Italian American
The Shoes You Wore Today:White New Balance Sneakers
Your Weakness:Fast cars, good food, and women. :P
Your Fears:Failing myself (principles, etc), Failing my friends or family
Your Perfect Pizza:Meatball, Onions, Extra Cheese, and Cheddar
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Getting a -good- full-time job
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:*yawns*
Thoughts First Waking Up:What's on the ol' agenda for today?
Your Best Physical Feature:Face. The glasses make it work, trust me. haha
Your Bedtime:Depends on when everything is done. 12:30am-2:30am
Your Most Missed Memory:On the Beaches in Florida
Pepsi or Coke:Coke, unless it's Cherry Pepsi.
MacDonalds or Burger King:Neither. Wendys.
Single or Group Dates:Either or.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:What the hell, no Arizona? Ugh. Lipton I guess.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:Coffee. With a shot of Caramel flavoring if possible.
Do you Smoke:On special occasions.
Do you Swear:Frequently.
Do you Sing:Only when no one is around.
Do you Shower Daily:Only if I'm dirty and know i'll get equally dirty the next day.
Have you Been in Love:Several times.
Do you want to go to College:I've graduated from College, B.S. in Mathematics.
Do you want to get Married:Maybe. If I find the right person for it, it might be possible.
Do you belive in yourself:Of Course.
Do you get Motion Sickness:Not often, but occasionally.
Do you think you are Attractive:I love myself, because it's who I am.
Are you a Health Freak:Not in the least.
Do you get along with your Parents:Yep! :D
Do you like Thunderstorms:I love 'em.
Do you play an Instrument:I used to play guitar.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yep.
In the past month have you Smoked:Nope.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Nope.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Nope.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Yep.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:Not a WHOLE box...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Yep.
In the past month have you been on Stage:Nope.
In the past month have you been Dumped:Nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:Nope.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Does a pen from work count?
Ever been Drunk:haha early and often.
Ever been called a Tease:Yep. I deserved it too.
Ever been Beaten up:Yep. He got what was comin' to him.
Ever Shoplifted:Yessir.
How do you want to Die:Speak for yourself. I plan to live forever.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:An astronaught.
What country would you most like to Visit:Italy. Maybe Belgium.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Green. Teal. Blue works too.
Favourite Hair Color:Brownish-red.
Short or Long Hair:Long. I want something to run my hand through.
Height:Doesn't matter really.
Weight:Doesn't matter really.
Best Clothing Style:Comfortable. Wear what makes you feel good.
Number of Drugs I have taken:Eh.
Number of CDs I own:Not many. Digital downloads and all that.
Number of Piercings:I have none. Some places are sexy though.
Number of Tattoos:I have none. A good tattoo can be hot.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:I have no life long regrets, only well feathered steps.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

 

Interview on Monday!

⊆ 3:38:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »

Hurray!

I have an interview with the Division of Life Sciences for a Unit Computing Specialist (read: a computer technician) job. ^_^

Duties include imaging using Ghost, recovering hard drives, troubleshooting Windows and Mac startup issues, diagnosing network issues, dealing with viruses and spyware, installing applications, installing new Mac/PC/peripherals.

This is a job maintaining over 400 machines across the University.

I can't wait for the interview... :)

-M, punching out.

 

Obama, The Candidate for 'Change'

⊆ 5:12:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 4 responses »

To all you 'enlightened' voters who think Obama is the candidate of change, I encourage you fully to look at how he, McCain, and madame Clinton voted on the recent Telecom Amnesty/Immunity Bill.

In fact, since 60% of Americans won't bother to vote in the upcoming election [and thus I believe wouldn't even bother looking] I will tell you right now.

Obama: Yea
Clinton: Nay
McCain: Abstain

For those of us in New Jersey I am glad to say that both Lautenberg and Menendez took a stand and voted Nay.

So. Where does your hero stand now?

I am sick of this shit. I've had enough of these games. The time for polite indifference is over.

 

Time for a little whining

⊆ 10:07:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Time for me to whine.

I promise, it'll be very, very brief. I don't like to whine, it's really just counter-productive.

I want a good space-combat sim game. A _recent_ space combat sim game. I still play Wing Commander, but that's getting dated [even with the enhanced 3rd-party graphics].

The problem is, I want it to be single-player. Mutlti-player should be an option of course, but I want a good single-player experience for practicing and general messing around.

Jumpgate Evolution, EVE-Online... All great games. MMORPGs that you need to dedicate basically your life to if you want to get anywhere... I just want to be able to come home from work, hop into my seat, and blow up some random computer enemies. I don't care if they're real or not, and I'm not really interested in fully-persistent universes.

X3 Reunion may be my only choice at this point, but if I recall correctly it was highly inaccessible [I mean, it practically required a joystick to play, had uber system requirements, and a learning curve steeper than the walls of the Grand Canyon].

Is it too much to ask for ... for a nice single-player gaming experience anymore? Not everyone fell into that Online is everything phase. Sure I like to play a game online with buddies every now and then, but what if no one's around? I don't care to play with people I don't know.

So please, game developers... Make games single-player again. Do like the Gods of gaming, Blizzard do [with the exception of World of Warcrack]... An awesome single-player game with an immersive story... And the ability to play multi-player through some sort of network service. Blizzard got it right. They know what they're doing. Just follow in their footsteps.

-M, punching out.

 

Boom De Yada!

⊆ 11:54:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 1 responses »



I love the mountains
I love the clear blue skies
I love big bridges
I love when great whites fly
I love the whole world
And all it's sights and sounds
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada!

I love the oceans
I love real dirty things
I love to go fast
I love egyptian kings
I love the whole world
And all it's crazyness
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada

I love tornados
I love arachanids
I love hot magma
I love the giant squids
I love the whole world
It's such a brilliant place
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada
Boom de yada

In case you hadn't noticed, I like the commercial. :)

 

My Friends, Songs Will Be Sung Of This Day

⊆ 10:13:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

o/ folks.

Songs will be sung of this day.

I have *drum roll* passed my road test and have received my NJ state drivers license. woot!

And to boot, in case I haven't told you... My parents, being as crazy as they are, bought me this...
...

So... Yeah. I'm a college graduate, with a car.

Now all I need is a job.


:)

-M

 

I Miss Home.

⊆ 10:56:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

I miss home.

I mean, I'm at home right now, home at the moment being my apartment in New Brunswick... But I miss HOME home. My parents house, oddly enough, up in Pittstown/Clinton.

It's a completely different environment ya know...

In New Brunswick, people are up 'til all hours of the night. In Pittstown people are generally out by 11:30, 12:00.

In New Brunswick, you can't get peace and quiet no matter what you try. In Pittstown you can't get noise and activity no matter what you try. I mean I know I live off 78, but the trees deaden the sound of the big rigs.

The thing I miss the most? The night sky. In New Brunswick... I can't find a place to sky-watch. There's too much light pollution. I know I could probably go to Rutgers Gardens or some place off on Cook Douglass, but remember I don't have a car yet. At my parents house... I can go sit on the back porch or climb the hill in the back yard and just stare at the sky.

I miss it because it's a very serene place, ya know? You can't help but feel at peace. Don't get me wrong, I -like- the hustle and bustle of New Brunswick... But sometimes I want... tranquility.

The wind blowing, the smell of the crops from the farms, the moon shining bright, the stars overhead, the cool grass. What more could you ask for...?

M, Punching out.

 

Song Of The Moment

⊆ 8:39:00 PM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Artist: Disturbed
Album: Indestructible
Track #: 11
Track: Divide

Lyrics:
Go!

I want to tear a big
Hole in what is to be
To end all this infatuation with
Unity
I'm seeking my salvation
Alone again
I never needed to be one of you
Anyway
Don't wanna be another player
Losing in this game
I'm trying to impress upon you
We're not the same
My own individuality is so unique
I'm one impressive motherfucker now
Wouldn't you say?

Break apart and...

Divide
Divide
Divide
Divide
You might say that
I'm the last man standing now
Though you'll try
You'll never find a way to
BREAK ME
You might say that I'm
Sick of being lost in the crowd
I hear the sirens
But they're never gonna
TAKE ME

I'm a little more provocative
Than you might be
And it's your shock
And then your horror
On which I feed
So can you tell me
What exactly does freedom mean?
If I'm not free to be as twisted
As I want to be?
Don't wanna be another player
Losing in this game
I'm trying to impress upon you
We're NOT the same
My psychotic mentality
Is so unique
I'm one aggressive motherfucker now
Wouldn't you say?


Break apart and...

Divide
Divide
Divide
Divide
You might say that
I'm the last man standing now
Though you'll try
You'll never find a way to
BREAK ME
You might say that I'm
Sick of being lost in the crowd
I hear the sirens
But they're never gonna
TAKE ME

They won't take me

Lyrics End

Click the static link (post title) to go to the song. :)
-M

 

The Fisherman's Prayer

⊆ 8:28:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

The Fisherman's Prayer [A Play on The Lord's Prayer]
- By Me! :D

Our tackle, thou art in boxes
Hallowed be thy lure
Thy hook come
The fishies be done
In the bay
As it is in the ocean
Give us this day
Our daily catch
And forgive us our bait
As we shall forgive the broken line
And lead us not into swells
But deliver us from sand banks
For thine is the Shimano
The Abu Garcia
And the Penn, forever
Amen

 

Thanks!

⊆ 10:02:00 AM by Mike Santangelo | ˜ 0 responses »

Thanks to everyone who came to my graduation this weekend - and those who wished they could come but could not.

I'll post some pictures later, but for now, I leave you with this:

Flogging Molly
If I Ever Leave This World Alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay! I'm alright!
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would
Now everything should be all right!
Yeah should be alright!